You could be eating cloned food.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7190305.stm

How creepy is this? Not only is the US researching the use of cloning for food, but they're also going to feed it to us without labelling it. In the near future, you could be eating a clone of a pig, a copycow, or even a recycled chicken. I don't know about y'all, but I find this unnerving. I don't want to eat anything that was brought into the world in a lab. The EU is at least for labelling their foods; I think that says something about the US. I'm not a fan of genetically modified food, either. I don't like that people are experimenting using us as involuntary test subjects. As much as I make fun of organi-nuts, I'm beginning to see WHY they're that way.

Makes me shudder to think what the Government is doing that no one knows about...

<3

Three years ago, my life was in sort of a dark spot. I had so many problems. I was extremely depressed; suicidal, even. I was a totally different person. Yeah, sure, I take meds for depression and they do their job most days, but back then it was a whole different story. I was fighting with my stepfather, fighting with people in school, in a bad relationship with someone who wanted control over me (and pretty much had it), and I felt I had no voice. Long story short, I was a mess. Then I ended that relationship, transferred schools, and things cooled down with my stepfather. I was still kind of drifting through life. It wasn't nearly as bad as before, but I was still depressed. About a year of that, then my friend calls me to hang out.
She comes and gets me, and says we're going to go meet a friend of hers at the beach. We're halfway there, she calls him up and we all meet at some K-Mart. It was funny because I didn't know this dude at all. Just a name. There was something about him. I don't know what it was, I still don't. That day we spent the day cruising the strip, yelling at passers-by, and blaring music down the road. He and I hit it off pretty well. That night, I think it was by IM, he asked if I wanted to go to the mall or something. I texted him the directions to my house the next day. I had just met him the day before, and here I was getting ready to get into his car. Didn't know him well, who he was, or what he did. I could have had a number of things happen. I was SO stupid.
That was both the dumbest and best thing I ever did, and Iwill NEVER do it again. A month later he asked me out. Almost two years later we're still together, and serious about each other. He is really the most wonderful thing to ever happen to me. He loves me for who I am; not what I have. He sacrifices so much for me. It's so unreal. He comes to get me almost every day (I can't drive 'til Sept.), he's on me about my college work, he looks out for my well-being, and he just does SO much to help me with everything he can. Two years we've been together, and he STILL opens doors. He's intelligent, trustworthy, empathetic, kind; almost too good to be true! I still don't know what I did to deserve him. We communicate awesomely, if there's a problem, we solve it. He has the biggest heart of most people I know. Every time he sees a donation box, he puts some change in. He calls it "giving to the shorties" if it's a childrens' fund. He's everything I'd hoped for, no, prayed for.

There IS a God, and he sent me Corey.

Stubborn and Stupid.

Next time I go outside mid-afternoon, I'm DEFINITELY taking some sunscreen. This time I learned my lesson. Mom had warned me before, but who listens to mom? This time my boyfriend warned me. My still-stubborn mind was set in the usual "I'm tough, I'll be fine" mode. I had burned my face a little the day before, and I figured it couldn't get much worse. I was dead wrong. Woke up the next morning and my face was SO swollen. At the time it was not funny. It sucked. I just wanted to go bury myself. I looked like some mutant off of some horror movie. One side more swollen than the other. Now, I look at the pictures I took (you won't be seeing thoooose) and laugh at how dumb that was. Guess I'm not as tough as I thought. >_<'

Buddha had nothing on my face.

All Muslims are Terrorists; Especially My Stepfather!!

I really don't see the appeal. Why do humans hate each other? What's up with the hatred for Muslims? My stepdad is Muslim, he's from Morocco. One verrry tolerant country, by the way. (They have Christian churches and Synagogues! in Morocco.) Anyway, He gets looks in public. I see it. It takes a lot not to walk up to them and say "You got a problem with my stepfather, you prick?!" I just want everyone to leave the man alone. Just because he believes in Al'lah (which is a TRANSLATION for God!) doesn't mean he's gonna go tacka bomb to the doors of the White House. He won't, believe me. He's pretty much the kindest person I know. He LOVES the United States. When he got his citizenship, he cried. Yeah, he CRIED. Cried because finally, he was, no, IS American. I think one of the best times of my life was when he married my mom. She couldn't have picked a better man. Sure, there are some culture clashes, but he's just looking out for his daughters (My sister and me). He's here fo me, he talks to me and took the place of my father who wasn't really there for me. How could one look at a man like him and believe he could kill?

Besides, all of the other muslims I know who emigrated to the US love this God-forsaken place. They love a place where they are constantly under surveillance, picked out and checked at airports looked at and feared as terrorists. They don't deserve it. No one does.

Heh, the CIA, FBI, Homeland Bullsecurity, and whoever else ought to be lookin' at everyone. I bet there are maaany white terrorist cells who get past security with a tip of their hat and a smile.

Re-evaluate your mind before you look at another person.

And think.

So, Uh, How 'bout That Epilepsy...

It suh-huuucks! I bet many of you know it does too. Many of you probably have it a bit worse. I'm almost 21 years old, and I can't drink OR drive. I'd never do both at once. Tooo risky and stupid. Anyway. Seizures are scary. You never know when one will hit until it does. I have petite ones, but I'm SO afraid that one day I'll drop into a grand mal. Like the rant before this post, as I thouroughly explained, the meds SUCK to take. The pills get stuck in my throat. I guess i'll take a few nastybad pills over a nastyworse seizure anyday. Haha. Now, I'm not writing this post for pity, so don't. I'm just writing looking for people who know the feeling. To see how to get over the social anxiety and depression that goes with it.

DON'T pity me, identify, kthx.

Oh, and thanks for readin' this!

¡Mucho apreció!

Wrote this the 1st semester in college...

Untitled

The crickets star in the nighttime symphony
yet no one is listening.
They sing of seasons change;
they sing of seasons passed.
They warn of disaster not too far away.
No one listens anymore.
The bittersweet cry becomes distant as the sounds of the city grow.
The stars shed no more light on the stage
the concert has fewer visitors.
No one listens anymore.
The crickets are beginning to quiet
dying from the toxins of machine giants.
Now it’s too late to listen.

Their song is sorely missed.

Ugh.

WARNING: VENTING IS IMMINENT.

Having mental illnesses suck. Yeah, it could be a lot worse, but it's there. The depression, epilepsy and narcolepsy-- and God knows what else may be lurking around my mind waiting to say "Hello! You're screwed now!"

Pills in the morning, pills in the evening, pills at suppertime. God I hated that bagel-bites jingle. Anyway they suck. They make me gag. I like the liquid sleep med I take. Sends me off to dreamland. I mean, don't get me wrong, I like knowing all the pills are helping; it's just that I wish I could make all of them into a small dose in a syringe and take a needle in then arm once a night. n_n Needles are Way better than pills.

Dammit.

La Primavera Es El Verano Nuevo...

April 27. 80-some odd degrees. Wasn't spring supposed to be about rain and mild weather? I see no mild weather. I just see the heat mirages floating off the hoods of the cars jammed up on a crowded highway. The heat is turned up by the tempers of the drivers; flaring because they're dying to get home.

All I need is a big shade tree. Too bad I'll never find one. You won't find shade trees in the middle of a city, though. Those had fallen victim to urban sprawl long ago.

Too bad.

Hope the swamp doesn't catch again.

Dogwood's Plight

A cute (but true!) story from my aunt. A unique perspective, seeing the world from the eyes of a tiny bird...


Hi, I'm Dogwood the hummingbird. I'm in rehab 'cause my right wing is not working so good.
Here's the story: I was just returning to my summer home in the lovely foothills of North Carolina when I spied a yummy swarm of fruit flies and raced straight for them, then, BOOM! I hit this invisible force field. I was knocked out cold and when I came to, my whole right side wouldn't work, bummer!!! I just flopped around and ran in circles when I tried to fly, cause only one wing worked.
Here's the scoop: Then...I was scooped up (punny huh?) by this giant and taken away. It was sort of like flying but with no wind and no wings. I'm so confused.
Day 1: well you already know that story.
Day 2: I feel awful. I can't fly, I can barely move and I'm so depressed, plus I feel like I've been hit by a truck!
Day 3: I slept in this small dark place last night and I feel a little better today. I have a branch to perch on, Hey, I can perch!!! There is a giant container of nectar over there, think I'll have some. Yum. Wait, there are some pretty pink flowers if I try really hard I can go over to them. I am learning to motivate! I can go pretty much anywhere I want in this little box sort of place. Wonder where everybody else went? But, I still can't fly and still go in circles, boohoo.
Day 4: The giant took me outside today. This is where everybody else went. I have been practicing walking up and down my branches and even tried to jump off today. I think I felt my right wing move a little, Yea!! I'll just keep trying.
Day 5: I feel really down today I worked and worked yesterday and I still can't fly. I just keep going in circles but I did get some fresh raindrops from the pink flowers the giant brings everyday. It even brought some nectar filled lilacs today, but I'm still depressed. Wish I could fly away!!!
Day 6: I spent a long time outside in this cool place with flowers and rocks and stuff today. I got new food that had what the giant called nutrients in it. I climbed to the top of my perch and practiced flying all day. I know my wing is starting to move now!!! I'll just keep trying till it gets all better.
Day 7: wait, it is still day 6 . Catch up with you again in a couple of days.

That photo was also taken by my aunt. She's a great photographer.

O'Reilly randomness.

So I was watching some clips of "The O'Reilly Factor" yesterday. This dude is a loco *expletive not entered*. I mean, does he actually think he's a valid newsperson or is he just there to piss people off?
This one segment I saw was an interview with Marilyn Manson. It was gold. He was doing everything he could do to make Manson angry. Manson just keeps his composure and sticks it to him. He spoke respectfully and intelligently, all the while O'Reilly was trying to discredit him. Really puts a spin on the artists behind the netherworld of music-- and makes O'Reilly look like a mook.
All this guy does is *attempt* to make people mad. It's great for a laugh. His show should be on Comedy Central rather than on FOX.

Then again, Colbert and Stewart have more credibility than him, and they don't even claim to be the REAL news. Pathetic.

My Reaction to My Grandmother's Fight With Leukemia

The month was December, I believe. I don't recall exactly what day. I was walking down the road on a cold, windy night. It was actually quite nice considering that I find the cold weather comforting. A few minutes down the road I get a phone call from my father. I was a bit alarmed because he hardly ever calls me. I answer the phone and he sounds upset. I knew it was going to be bad news, but never as horrible as it actually was. He told me of my grandmother's condition. I can remember dropping to my knees on the road and crying. My grandmother was visiting my father in New Jersey that week when she fell ill. My father drove her to the hospital and they ran the usual blood tests on her. Her white blood cell count was dangerously low. It was the worst news no one wants to hear. She had leukemia and she was dying. The chances of survival were fairly low. She was losing weight and hair. She had dreamed of seeing me graduate high school, and seeing the realisation that she may not, she was devistated. But despite the odds, her condition eventually improved after many intense and tiring chemotherapy sessions.

Today she is doing awesome, and she's passed her first year in remission, and her hair has grown back. She looked great when I saw her at my graduation. She was so happy to live to see it, and I was ecstatic to see her. It is a defining moment in my life because it made me realise that even the strongest can fall and you can't take anything for granted.

Horrible pic of me, but my grandma looks great!